Fallen: A BBW Vampire Blood Courtesans Romance Page 7

  “It was my pleasure. I can tell she and I will be lifelong friends.”

  My heart sung and hurt at the same time. I was excited to make a friend who saw me as more than a passing acquaintance. I was crushed by the knowledge that that would never be the case because eventually, Matt would find us and I would have to hide once more in a new town with a new identity.

  “Longer than that, I hope.”

  What was he saying? I pushed the thought down. There was no way he was thinking that. Besides, Arabella was human.

  “What has Jameson been filling your ears with, Finn?” Arabella had her hands on her hips in mock scolding. The two were closer friends than I originally thought, and it was fun to watch their banter.

  “That is something you will have to ask him now, isn’t it? We had a pleasant conversation today and it seems I was in the dark about a few things.”

  Arabella’s eye widened at that and her face quickly lit up.

  “So it’s true? A baby already?”

  “It is. They couldn’t be happier.”

  There was nothing happier than a new baby. Even with how horrible the circumstances were with Daisy, I was happy the moment I discovered I was pregnant. Terrified of what it meant for my life, especially growing up in the household I did, but happy.

  “Nor could I. Thank you, my friend, for telling me, although I doubt you were meant to.” She waggled her finger at him and I covered my mouth to try to hold in my giggle.

  “Scold away, Arabella. You’re glad I did.”

  “So very.” She was practically glowing as she wandered past us and straight to the door which she flung open with zero grace. “Now off with you two.” We were barely out the door when she added for good measure, “And Finn, you look wretched. You need to eat.”

  “And you, my busy body friend are far from as sly as you think. I look sensational, wouldn’t you agree, dear?” He squeezed my hand when I didn’t answer, me being the dear. Oh how that set my heart a flutter. On simple endearment and I was putty. Goodness help me.

  “Very much so, although you do look a bit peckish if I were to be honest.”

  “I should have known you two would have been in cahoots.” His exaggerated sigh fooled no one. “Very well then, shall we?”

  And with that, we headed out for our date. Our date-ish type thing? Our work? Forget it, we headed out.

  9

  “I hope you find this to your liking?” Finn had picked the perfect date. We took a stroll through the park abutting the river. It was absolutely beautiful with the moonlight shining down, making it bright enough to see even if we wandered outside the street lights. He had offered to take me to dinner a few times before he believed me that I really did already eat. My reply was of course that he should eat too, which he quickly shut down as a later notion.

  “So very much. It is so peaceful along the river, and I never would have ventured out here on my own, especially at night.” The part of town we were in might not be the worst, but a woman alone at night in a secluded area of the city was far from the best idea.

  “I’m glad to hear that on all accounts.” He pulled me to a stop as we reached a park bench with a view of the bridge. Lit with colorful lights, it was one of the most well-known features of the city, and from this angle it was magnificent. We both took a seat, our hands never parting, “It isn’t safe for a woman to be walking out here on her own. Not everyone is as honorable as me.”

  Wasn’t that the truth.

  “I hope you are not too honorable.” I waggled my eyebrows for good measure. Something about Finn had my engines revving. True, he was gorgeous and wealthy and kind, but there was more to it than that. There was something about him that had me at ease. If I didn’t already know I was not susceptible to vampire mind controls, I would have second guessed the emotions. Instead I held on tight to the feeling, allowing it to practically consume me in the very best of ways.

  “Behave, my butterfly.” He leaned in, his lips brushing past my ears as he promised, “All in good time.” I nearly jumped him then and there. One four word promise and I was on fire and had the soaking wet panties to prove it.

  Leaning back against the bench, we sat in companionable silence and watched a riverboat float by, people dancing on deck.

  “Now what is your obsession with me eating?” he demanded out of nowhere. He sounded, dare I say, nervous when he asked as if my answer mattered. I had read somewhere online that some people get addicted to feeding vampires, but that was far from me. I had been fed on once, and it was a far cry from something I needed. Although, with Finn I did feel the compulsion to offer myself to him, completely including as a meal. “Please tell me it is not a work thing. I told you I already took care of that.”

  “It isn’t, and since you brought it up, exactly how did you ‘take care of it’?” I leaned into his side, my head resting on his chest. Mostly I wanted to be closer to him, but partly so we could have this conversation without me meeting his eyes, for I feared that I would chicken out if I did. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer.

  “Quite simple, actually. I called Madame Victoria and had you officially put on stand-by.”

  I stiffened up. Stand-by sounded not good. No one is happy to get stand-by on a plane because nine times out of ten you never get where you are actually planning to go. As if sensing my unspoken question, he continued, “That means I am paying half rate to keep you on call if I need you and keeping you off the list for other vampires to hire out.”

  Holy crap on a cracker. He was paying a fortune for me not to do my job so that no one else would hire me. I didn’t know if I should be furious or flattered or turned on. I was pretty much all three.

  “That’s a thing? Why?” I didn’t care why as a general principle, but I for certain sure cared why he had chosen to do so.

  “For a few reasons I would gather.” He answered nonchalantly as if we were speaking of the weather or the music coming off the boat that was now fading into the distance. “Some of us are very picky and only enjoy certain meals as it were. This keeps them available without hurting their meal’s bank accounts.”

  Meals. I was a meal. I knew it when I signed on, but to hear it said so bluntly felt uncomfortable to say the least.

  “Some probably do it because of status. Having your own courtesan, especially at the current rates, is a status symbol of sorts.” Now this one made sense to me. It was something I’m sure both Matt and my father would’ve done had they been vampires. Nothing was more important than what others felt about them. It was a sorry existence and one that hurt far too many.

  “And then there are those like me, who are possessive and selfish.”

  Possessive. Selfish. Oh. My. Word. I forced myself not to dwell on his words or jumping him would have been my next move. Down girl, down.

  “But you do need to feed even if I’m on stand-by.” My jealousy flowed from me in waves. I didn’t want his lips on another. Not. At. All.

  “And I will.”

  My claws were coming out. What was wrong with me?

  “Not from someone else.” My words were firm and left no room for interpretation. It was official, I had turned crazy.

  “Feisty.” He chuckled as he kissed the top of my head, not as upset by my insane outburst as I was. “No, not from someone else.” I was still tense beneath his arm. “I promise. I just want you to be sure.” He kissed the top of my head again, and I relaxed into him, his words reassuring that part of me that didn’t seem to contain the slightest bit of logic.

  “Be sure, how?” All of his not rushing and be sures had my mind wandering to weird places. “Jasper feed off of me during training just fine.”

  “That may be so, but we … we are different.” He turned his body and gently guided me to do the same, so we were no longer both facing the same direction. The moonlight danced in his eyes and a smile adorned his face. We were different. How, I still hadn’t figured out, but it was true.


  “Because we are attracted to each other?” I knew that wasn’t it, not completely. We wanted each other, badly. My wet panties and his bulging pants didn’t lie. But there was so much more to it that I couldn’t place my finger on.

  “That is only the surface, butterfly. Only the surface.”

  “I don’t understand.” The words barely escaped my lips as a whisper. A confession that held my faults, as if I should know but somehow missed the pretest study session.

  “Oh butterfly, I don’t completely understand either, but Jameson has left me enough hints about he and his beloved for me to know it’s true.” He cupped my cheek with one hand, his other finding perch on my thigh. It wasn’t a sexual move, but one filled with tenderness. “He believes, and from the way Arabella has been acting, I know she does as well, that you and are will be more than courtesan and vampire. So very much more.”

  “I think so too.” I sucked in a deep breath. As much as I wanted this, all of this, to mean I was on the road to a happily ever after with the gorgeous vampire in front of me, I could not. There was too much I hid and was hiding from. “But there are things.” His thumb caught a tear. Brilliant, I was already crying and had yet to share any of the important bits.

  “There are always things.” He leaned in and kissed away another tear. “That’s how life works. It doesn’t change the fact that we are starting something here, something special.”

  “Yes, but for me the things, are more … worse …” I knew in that second that I needed to tell Finn everything. No one knew everything and the fear of rejection had me about to spiral into a panic attack, something I had managed to avoid since getting out from beneath the control of my father. Deep breaths.

  “You can tell me anything, butterfly.”

  I closed my eyes, willing my mouth to open and my past to slip out. I had read somewhere that the power in a secret had to do with the limitations it put on the secret keepers. I scoffed at it at the time, but it was true. This secret controlled every part of my day. Maybe sharing the burden would help.

  “Anything at all,” he reiterated, and I believed him. There was nothing I could say that he wouldn’t dutifully listen to. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that he might not feel differently afterward, but he would listen, and I needed that more than anything in that moment.

  And then I told him everything. I told him about my childhood and the way I was treated for simply being a girl. I told him about how I tried to break free, only to be pulled back in, usually by force. The hardest part to tell him about was the rape. True to his word he listened, his face turning a kind of scary I never knew existed, and this time, unlike when I told my family, the anger was not directed at me. It was directed at the man who took what wasn’t his and the man who protected him in doing so.

  I told Finn about the moment I discovered I was pregnant, when I told my father, when Matt tried to kill me, and my life on the run. I even told him Daisy’s birth name as well as my given name, Winona. He told me that with a new start came a new name, and I would ever be his Paige, the woman strong enough to defy death in order to protect what was hers.

  When we left the park, I felt lighter than I had in years. I had shared my story, and it was accepted, respected, and if the look in his eye was a true indication, loved because of it.

  10

  “Come home with me,” he spoke in my ear, knowing darn well it set my body ablaze. The man wasn’t playing fair.

  I was leaning against Finn’s chest, my body molded into his, trying to regain the breath he stole from with his kiss.

  “You know I will.”

  “Will you stay?” His hand drifted up my side, making it nearly impossible for me to think clearly, which was no doubt his plan. His wonderful amazing and highly naughty plan.

  “I promised to be home by eight.” My breath was still bated, but clearer than only moments earlier. Daisy came first, something no amount of hormones was going to change.

  “I will make it so,” he promised as he reached behind me, clicking the car door handle. The man was not wasting time, which worked well for me because I was ready. More than ready.

  “Then yes, I will stay.” I stepped from the car so the door could open and then climbed on in.

  Turned out that having a speedy little sports car was far handier than I could have imagined. We were back at his place within ten minutes. I waited for the worry and nervousness to hit me, but it never happened. I was as sure of this as I had ever been sure of anything. I wanted him, in all ways.

  We were not even through the threshold when his lips took mine. He wasn’t asking unspoken questions with his kisses. He was answering my body’s call to him. The latch of the door barely registered as our tongues explored each other’s mouths. It was as if neither one of us could get enough of the other. Truth was, we couldn’t.

  My hands began to fumble with his shirt when he scooped me up as if I weighed no more than a sack of flour and carried me to his bedroom, never taking his lips from mine. This was really happening.

  “Wait,” I panted when our lips finally broke. “I thought we would … you would … you know first.” My thoughts came out a jumbled mess, but I knew he understood.

  “I have decided I can’t wait to do either, so we shall combine the two.” His hands worked on my buttons as he spoke, his intentions turning me on more than I thought possible.

  How was it that the idea of making love to him while he drank from me could set my need level higher? As he delicately removed my shirt, I fumbled and popped a few buttons getting his off. I could sew them back on in the morning, but at that moment I needed it gone.

  His chest, crossed by a silver scar that looked more like my scars than I wanted to think about, had me kissing the line, trying to take away the hurt that had once caused the marred skin.

  “Butterfly, it was a long time ago, do not cry.”

  Crying. My hands reached up, sure enough I was crying.

  “Sorry, it’s just, someone hurt you.”

  He broke through my sorrow with the snap of my bra and the touch of his lips on my breast. He wasn’t playing fair, thank goodness, because the last thing I needed was to get lost in the past. Tonight was about the present. I moaned as his mouth worshiped my breast, my knees almost caving as the sensations took over my body.

  His mouth popped off as he scooped me up, depositing me gently on his bed. “Can’t have you falling down on me, can I?” Before I could answer, his mouth was back on me, kissing a path from my neck down, down, down, making a slow and sensual stop at my neglected breast. I was going to come before he even got me naked at this rate.

  As he reached my waistband, he reached behind to release the button and froze. Instantly I knew what he had discovered. Whereas he had one scar, I had many, penance for my many sins. If he stopped to look at the scar he had found, his horror would only be magnified.

  “Present, remember.”

  He undid the button and then before I could protest, rolled me over. I could feel the tension in his body as the scars came into view. There were years of “penance” on my back.

  “Present,” I chanted over and over again, hoping to break through his tense, silent moment, and as the sound of my zipper filled the air, I knew I won. My skirt slowly began its journey off my body, and I raised my belly to help it along. I wanted it gone.

  I rolled myself over, needing to see for myself that he was all right. His eyes closed, his body still tense, I did the only thing I could figure out to do and pulled him down to me, kissing him hard. It didn’t take long before he took over the kiss. Mission accomplished.

  A long and very thorough kiss later, and he began his descent once again. When his lips reached my panties, the nerves that had fled earlier returned.

  “Relax, butterfly, and let me take care of you.”

  I tried, I really did, but no one’s mouth had ever been there, and a part of me, a huge part of me wondered how him pleasuring me actually turned him on. From what I had heard
as a college student, boys only did that to get lucky, and I was so very much a sure thing at this point.

  “Yyyyou don’t need to do that you know. I already said yes.”

  “Do I look like I’m doing something because I have to?”

  I pushed up and saw the heat in his eyes. Holy fuck, no. No, he did not. He looked less than human and goodness help me that look had me on fire.

  “Please.” I was begging. Reduced to begging with one look. What the man would be able to do with an actual attempt …

  He responded by removing my embarrassingly wet panties. A slight push of my thighs opened me up to him, all trepidation gone. Need, lust filled need in its place.

  “Oh, so wet for me.” His tongue swept across my pussy one slow movement before his teasing was gone and his mouth began its magic. It had to be magic, for there was no other explanation for how he was able to play my body so easily with only his lips, his tongue, and a carefully placed nibble. I practically came undone with only the second sweep.

  “You need to stop or I’ll …”

  “You’ll what, come all over my mouth?” He stopped only long enough to speak before getting back to his mission.

  “Yes, that.” I pulled on his hair, trying to get his eyes to meet mine and see the seriousness of my words. He looked up, shook his head as if I bemused him, and then blew on my clit, sending an unexpected shock of pleasure up my spine.

  “Oh love, that is my exact intent.” And with that he went back to what I now knew was his mission, and only a few strokes later I was coming as he devoured every last drop.

  “I had …” I began when I finally came down from an orgasm I thought only possible in dreams.

  “Now. I want to feed now.” His voice was thick and I knew that he wasn’t asking for my arm.

  “Yes,” I gasped, unable to form the complete sentence.

  His fangs sunk into my thigh at the junction of my hip, and unlike the time Jasper fed from me, it was pleasurable. More than pleasurable. And before I knew it, my body was quaking in yet another orgasm, this one making the first one seem minuscule. My body shook and my mind went blank as I rode out the waves. I now understood how people got addicted to feeding.